Eat. Pray. Love.

Let's Talk Eat. Pray. Love

Over the course of the last few months I have seen a variety of content blasted across social media. More specifically people embarking on their fitness journeys whether it’s a workout challenge, weight loss goals or running mini marathons etc I have also seen people posting about how much weight they have put on during this pandemic from eating bundles of baked goods, an extra packet of crisps or eating their normal but not doing the exercise that they would normally do to balance it out for whatever reason. Now im not saying influence is a bad thing, I think it is a wonderful thing but for the right reasons such as finding a new passion, a motivational speech to encourage a dream, to cook that new dish, you get the point… Influence should not be used to guilt people into feeling negative about themselves whether that’s body image, learning ability, interests in certain products, choice in movies or whatever it may be, We shouldn’t feel bad for not being a sheep and not following the crowd, we should be able to do things when we feel the time is right to do them. Que; Eat. Pray. Love have you seen this movie? If you have not, then you should. You may think this is a ‘girly’ movie, but I assure you its not. I quote my partner “I think Julia Roberts is my new favourite actress “ (after watching Notting Hill as well) probably still second to Margot Robbie though… This movie takes you on a spiritual journey across the globe. She starts out in the setting of New York the concrete jungle, going through the process of every day life when things take a complete 360 she heads to Rome. The city of sex and passion but mainly great food she learns to eat and enjoy it, forget about fitting clothes and simply savours the flavours. From there we travel to India where Liz is suddenly brought from a high to a low, feeling somewhat lost after a leap from making new memories to thinking about the old ones. How do you accept the past? How does it make you who you are? Do we take it into the future or leave it behind? Then there is the outcome of the movie, Love. From what we have learnt; Do we learn to love, or do we throw it away because we are scared? Are we scared to hurt? How do we know if we are ready to open our hearts? Do we Dive into a bed and go with the flow? Does Liz find love or does she find herself? Ok so I didn’t want to give too much away in case you haven’t watched the movie but im going to give you my own account of EAT. PRAY. LOVE, but with a twist… LOVE. Once upon a time there was a little girl named bee… I am kidding kind of; I am going to tell you how I found my love. I Just finished work which at the time was in a restaurant and was asked by a friend to go for a drink, why not it is Saturday. We were sat at the table when this tall Tarzan looking fella from the local rugby team appeared at the table beside me, picked up my handbag and asked if I wanted to play a game. He told me that he was going to pull an item out of my handbag and I had to guess what it would be, I know I thought what a weirdo as well but I also though he was handsome and I hope he doesn’t go in the middle pouch else he’ll pull out a bundle of tampax. Anyway, he pulled out a furry pom pom broken from keys to which we laughed after he admitted he thought I was the weirdo harbouring a pet rabbit in the pub, then he disappeared and went to the club with his friends and that was. A few weeks went by when I received a message from this guy on Instagram, we got to talking and over the course of two months we met up and talked a lot, but we kept bumping into each other. I know that may sound normal but we had lived in the same town for a whole year without seeing each other any where and all of a sudden we saw each other everywhere, on the street or in the shop we actually even bumped into each other in another town he was working I was on my day off. We both say it was like we were both just magnetised and drawn to each other as a result he took it as a sign and asked me out. Now its three years later we have been able to teach each other so many lessons he had to return to his home country of New Zealand for a while on two occasions and so we have had to do long distance which was hard and came with challenges, we have experienced loss, death, pain, anger and many more emotions together. All those things have allowed us to develop individually and together. Do not get me wrong we are not perfect and still argue about cleaning and all that other trivial stuff that comes with relationships, but it is not the important stuff so its disregarded. I have been in previous relationships where I thought I was in love, but challenges presented themselves and broke us we were not strong enough. Now I know love, I know how it feels. It feels like acceptance during the good, the bad and the ugly It feels like someone is there to catch you when you fall It feels like a lantern in the night when there are no stars to guide you. READ. I ‘m switching up praying for reading here. So, after finding love, you feel settled, but does that mean that you should? I do not mean by moving on or finding a new partner, I mean should you settle as you are? No, you should not. For the majority of last year (2019) I was in a very dark place, I was seriously depressed. I did not want to get out of bed most days, my friends were not there for me when I needed them to be and I felt alone, I talked to my partner but I stopped because I didn’t want to burden him with my saddened thoughts. There’s times I would lie on the floor and cry because my friends weren’t talking to me at the time, that’s when I really needed them and my partner lay down next to me trying to offer some comfort. What is depression? Why does it take us to our darkest hour? At what point do we realise we are better than this? I realised this after reading a book I have mentioned in ‘Why Don’t I Have What I Want?’. It’s Called ‘ Ask and It Is given by Ester & Jerry Hicks” After spending the majority of 2019 at a low this book really picked me up it gave me the influence I needed and I changed my whole mentality, I stopped thinking of my losses that year and started thinking about my wins, self-development, how could I be better, I don’t want to settle, I don’t want to be sad and waste my life. So now I am a complete book worm after probably not picking up a book since my teen years I now read 1-2 books a month. I am continually growing I have opened my mind to possibilities, to spirituality to more positive thoughts. I have found new passions, ways to express my thoughts right here by blogging. It takes a lot to pull yourself our of depression and it certainly is not an overnight process, you must really want to make that transition, you must want live. I quote Liz “Ruin is a gift; Ruin is the road to transformation” I love that. I also want to remind you of this which someone wisely said to me “ We grow at different paces in different directions, one day you walk the same path and almost overnight we find ourselves going in separate directions, change is never easy to accept, but accept it we must.” Just because you are not reading, running or growing at the same pace or level as someone else you should not be disheartened, you may posses speed to something else that they do not. Whether you read Fiction or Non – Fiction pick up a book take yourself away from a situation dive into it, water your brain with knowledge or the tales of a good novel, allow yourself and your thoughts to grow. EAT. This is where my opening paragraph will make sense. After dealing with my eating disorder for so many years, counting calories and keeping food diaries, when I finally beat it, I came out almost clean, I came out with a little OCD. By controlling what I eat for example I will count my chips and it has to be an even number, my breakfast I have to only have 4 teaspoons of yoghurt in my bowl with 5 walnuts and two handfuls of pumpkin seeds or I can only have an even number of chocolate buttons… you get it. I still pat my stomach if I feel im getting too full I felt I could not control this or so I thought. The last week or so I have suddenly just dropped the care I had; I can tell I have put on a little weight because I have not been exercising because I chose not to. I do not have to do anything I do not want to; I just do not feel like exercising and that is perfectly fine. I should not feel guilty about it, I should not have to stress about a little muffin top, it is not permanent. I am not stuck like this forever all I need to do is cut out a little junk food but not all because I’ll still be having my daily cookie at 4pm with my coffee and doing some exercise that is all, no big deal. I feel like I have broken some sort of chain that has been crossed over me for 11 years, I finally feel free. I ENJOY MY FOOD AND DON’T FEEL GUILTY I ENJOY MY FOOD AND DON’T FEEL GUILTY I ENJOY MY FOOD AND DON’T FEEL GUILTY It feels so good to say that, again I quote Liz; “ I’m so tired of saying no and waking up in the morning and recalling everything I ate the day before, every calorie so I know how much self-loathing to take into the shower with me. I’m going for it, I have no interest in becoming obese, im just through with the guilt… tomorrow we are going on a date to buy ourselves some bigger jeans.” I feel there is no better way to put it, I am tired of self-loathing, of hating what I see in the mirror. I no longer feel guilty. I am me, I accept me, as I am. Love Read Eat - I Accept & I am Accepted I Learn & I Grow I Eat & I Feel Good.

What is your Eat. Pray. Love story?

Thank for Reading

Bee 😊